Letters and Denial (Young!Sirius x Reader)

Prompt:
-Harry Potter
-Young!Remus or Young!Sirius
-Reader, Christmas, Fluff

---

Signed, your Secret Admirer

You tear your eyes from the love letter some soul had slipped into your bag sometime today. You’d been eyeing it with disdain. Honestly, who wrote love letters anymore? Though you had to admit the penmanship was fairly splendid. Still it did nothing for you. You hadn’t time for silly love letters. You already had your sights set elsewhere. You move said eyes over to peer at the gentleman who’d so rudely made your heart endure things you’d never felt before.

"I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him."

“I would greatly appreciate if you would stop talking.”

"But Sev! Look at him sitting there all handsome and intelligent, reading a book! Ugh, and he knows it too!"

"If you're so obsessed with the Gryffindor idiot perhaps it’d best to approach him and quickly let him turn you down."

You turn your gaze to Severus, proffering him the most appalled of looks and he immediately regrets having fallen prey to your nonsensical discussion about Sirius Black.

"Firstly, I am not obsessed! Secondly, I'm a Slytherin for Salazar's sake. And thirdly, why do you simply assume he'll turn me down? What? Because I'm a Slytherin?"

"(Y/N), must you?" Severus sighs as he rubs at his temple, turning another page.

You sigh, looking back across the library to see Sirius whispering with his closest friends, that stupid grin on his stupid face. Goodness he was gorgeous! You began to wonder if perhaps he’d already acquired a date for the upcoming Yule Ball. It was likely that he had, after all he was the Sirius Black. Another weak sigh and you look back to Severus, always the overachiever that one. You glance down to the open transfiguration book in front of you with a frown before glancing over to Severus.

"Do you actually understand any of this?"

"Remind me again why we’re friends..."

You grin devilishly as you shrug your shoulders.

---

Okay, you had one shot at this. Lingering behind one of the million trees strewn about for the holidays, you waited with the utmost of patience. Sirius always took this route after potions class and the best thing about it is that he always took it alone. That would supply you the opportune moment to ask him to the Yule Ball. Maybe he did have a date already, but the worse he could do was say no…that literally was the worst thing he could do. A feeling of skepticism washes through your veins and you begin to wonder if perhaps Severus had been right and this was an utterly foolish idea.

The sound of approaching footsteps, mingling with light humming, snatches you from your musings and your heart shudders at the sound. Now or never! Casually you step from the cover of the tree and into Sirius’ line of sight. Your sudden appearance visibly startles the man and with ceased humming he watches you. You let out a breath, careful not to let your emotions show, and step forward.

“Black,” is the only thing that comes out of your useless mouth. You could’ve at least greeted him by his first name!

“(L/N),” Sirius says with this smirk you can’t quite comprehend, slipping his hand into the pockets of his trousers.

Huh? He said your name with a hit off softness despite the smug look on his face and you have to fight back the smile that wants to invade your face. With the toss of your hair over your shoulder and the straightening of your posture, you take another step forward after clearing you throat. Sirius doesn’t move away nor does he move for his wand. Win-win. Another intake of breath and you speak.

"I was wondering...what I mean to say is that I've been thinking...and you can say no, but I'd appreciate if you would at least hear me out. I was just thinking that perhaps...and there's no need to be a jerk about it! All wanted to say is, that is if you'd give me the time of day, but clearly you aren't interested so I'll simply leave now."

With that you rush past him, opting not to give him the chance to speak, and off down the hall in pursuit of the Slytherin common, an aura of failure looming about you. You mutter the password to the portrait with a tone of defeat and tiredly you enter and find Severus and Lily on the couch by the fire.

“Oh, (y/n)! How’d it go!?” She inquires ecstatically as she watches you draw near to the sofa directly across from them, flopping down wearily upon it.

“How did it go? Perhaps you should ask how it didn’t go, it’s a shorter list!” You exclaim into the closet pillow, huddling it close in both your arms.

Lily makes a guilty face as she untangles herself from the grip of her blanket, moving across the way to sit on the floor in front of you. She gives you an apologetic smile and the sight makes you whine pitifully.

"I must admit, your disgruntled state is most amusing."

“Severus!” Lily reprimands as she looks behind herself to give the smirking man a glare.

You groan at Severus' words before sitting upright and looking at Severus with a nod, gentle pout in your cheeks.

“He’s right though. This, whatever this is, is crazy and it’ll pass. A fleeting fancy.”

“A fleeting fancy?” Lily inquires, genuinely upset by your words, “Don’t tell me you’re going to give up. I thought Slytherins never gave up.”

“I gave up on Gryffindors a long time ago.”

Lily breathes in heavily and she throws Severus yet another glare before turning her focus back you. She reaches forward and takes up one of your hands as she offers you a supportive smile.

“I don’t exactly know who this ‘mystery fellow’ is, but what I do know is that if you don’t at least try you’re truly going to regret it.”

“I sincerely doubt it, “Severus adds in with a snort of keen disbelief, turning to the next page of his latest book.

Lily frowns as she looks to you and shakes her head with a sigh, “Sometimes I want to hurt him.”

“And yet you love him all the while,” you reply with a playful smirk and Lily responds with a grin.

“Unfortunately.”

“You do realize I can hear you.”

“We know~!” you and Lily reply in perfect harmony, bursting into a fit of giggle.

Severus coughs, having risen to his feet and crossed over to you both, a pristine envelope in his hands. He hands it to you with a displeased look on his face and curiously you take it. The paper is familiar, having received a few like it before, and you recognize who it’s from almost immediately.

“Who’s it from?” Lily inquires playfully, leaning close as you unseal the letter, carefully sliding the paper out.

“Some secret admirer,” you reply nonchalantly and Lily promptly squeals, climbing onto the sofa beside to obtain a finer view.

At Lily’s insistence you read it aloud. It’s actually the first time you’ve truly read any of them, always briefly skimming before storing them away in some unmemorable region of your room. The letter is surprisingly unromantic. It’s rather like a conversation, its colloquial manner making it seem as though this unknown fellow were sitting in front of you as you read. You found yourself astonished by how endearing you genuinely find the prose to be. You’d never been all that great with recognizing the motions of romance anyhow.

Sincerely yours, your Secret Admirer

You read the last line in your head a few times before sighing wearily.

Lily grins as she takes the paper from your hand, but one brief look at it wipes the smile from her face and she stares at it in awe.

“Something wrong?” you inquire with raised brows.

She shakes her head repeatedly before clearing her throat, “Umm…no, everything’s fine. It’s a sweet letter.”

She swiftly hands the letter back to you before standing to her feet, moving about to gather her things, “I have to go.”

“What for?” you ask with a smile of disbelief on your face.

“I just remembered there was something I have to do.”

She moves back over to kiss Severus on his cheek before heading to the door with a knowing smile, “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

Both you and Severus look to one another in skepticism.

“Something’s up,” you mutter.

“Indeed. She’s never been a good liar.”

---

You’d taken Lily’s words to heart. The damn Gryffindor was rather persuasive. So you’d held your head high and continued to pursue this all-consuming feeling eating away—devouring really—at both your heart and your sanity. But all efforts had failed and been in vain. Not only had it been excessively difficult to get the man alone, it had been even harder to recall how to speak English every time you managed to do so! Honestly, had it always been tis difficult to speak with Black? It was tiring and after each failed endeavor you’d decide to simply give up. But then you’d see Lily and Severus and think, ‘If they can, why can’t I…especially Sev.’ Oddly enough, one of the things that really helped you stand tall were the letters that you continued to receive. Whoever this fella was, he was clearly interested and despite having never actually spoken to you his persistence became, in a sense, your strength.

And yet here you stood all gussied up and, despite the abundance of people around you, alone. You’d been so focused on trying to ask after Sirius that you’d turned down all invitations from other inquiring suitors. You couldn’t say you regretted it, but it certainly would’ve been nice to at least have some to complain to. Your secret admirer hadn’t once mentioned the Yule Ball in any of their letters and somewhere inside you’d found yourself a bit disappointed. You’d been a bit curious as to who the unknown person was. The guy who knew of your distaste for transfiguration, kindly relaying to you the best ways to get away with sleeping in class. The guy who clearly had no artistic skills, but still felt it pertinent to draw out his day and anything else that seemed to come to mind. You chuckle, grinning to yourself at the thought. Often you’d wish you could write back. He knew so much about you and you hadn’t even the slightest to what his name was. You look down to the folded letter in your hand with a sigh. Perhaps you’d be better off pursuing this than that reckless Gryffindor.

Silently you watch Severus and Lily glide across the floor. The redhead is all smiles and, like the stunning witch she is, she makes Severus smile in kind. Slytherin customs be damned! There was no way you could fight back the proud grin as you watched them move about in tandem. Having known Severus from a young age, you’d always been certain he’d wind up alone. You hadn’t meant to be so cold about it—after all you had only been seven—but with his sharp tongue and bristly personality…well who wouldn’t think so?

You take another look at the letter before turning to peer out the window behind you. Perhaps you should mingle. It wasn’t as though you didn’t have friends to chat with or who’d be more than happy to dance with you, but your heart simply wasn’t in it. With your free hand, you move to straighten out any creases in your dress with a sigh, closing your eyes and listening to the music.

“That’s the 12th sigh tonight.”

“Is that so? Who’s counting?” You reply absently, eyes still shut. Couldn’t the guy tell you weren’t interested in small chat as of now?

“No one special. Just your secret admirer.”

Your eyes snap open at those words, not to mention that voice—!

“Sirius!”

Sirius quirks a playful brow, a smirk on his lips as he turns around to casually recline on the wall behind him.

“You?”

“What do you mean ‘you’?”

“You write love letters? You, Sirius Black, writes love letters?”

“Not usually, actually no, never.”

“Then why?”

Sirius looks up with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest before answering.

“I had to do something that would catch your attention. I knew very well that if I approached you in person you’d deny your interest in me—“

“I don’t like you!” you snap rhetorically, quickly denying your evident feelings.

Sirius rolls his eyes with a smirk as he chuckles, “And this is exactly why I knew that option was out of play. It was actually Lily who suggested the letters.”

“Lily? She knew?”

“Not per say. I simply told her that I was interested in a girl, but that she was excessively shy.”

“I’m not shy!”

He laughs as he runs a hand through his hair, “No, you certainly are not…unless it comes to this.”

He moves to lay a finger upon your chest, feeling the racing sensation of your heart thrumming beneath. He grins knowingly, but you keep your mouth shut. Salazar forbid you slip up and boost his ego.

“I also knew silly poems and whatnot wouldn’t catch your attention. Romance makes you uncomfortable, so I opted to simply talk to you. It wasn’t all that difficult, after all I’d always wanted to talk to you.”

You observe him for any signs of deceit and he only smiles gently.

“When I first really started noticing you after that whole 'incident' in potions last year I thought, ‘A Slytherin? Really?’”

Momentarily, you shiver at the thought of siad 'inicdent' before shaking it off and processing the rest o Sirius' words. You then huff with a pout at the last bit of his words and he gives you a look. You reluctantly agree with a halfhearted nod. So what if you’d thought the same thing about him being a Gryffindor.

“So I was fairly certain you wouldn’t give me the time of day, aside from those study sessions and time spent as your Herbology partner. I mean Lily and Snap are an anomaly in itself. But this year something changed. I began to notice you noticing me. It was pure irony. Honestly, what were the chances? So I made up my mind and made my move.”

“You say it as though it were some sort of dance…”

“Well isn’t it. The year consisting of you and I dancing about one another, neither of us willing to take the lead…until now it would seem. You were adorable in the hall last month by the way.”

“What?!”

“When you tried to confess you’re undying love to me.”

“I was not trying to confess, you imbecile! I was trying to ask you to this stupid ball!”

Sirius chuckles as he moves a bit closer, “Close enough.”

You bite down on your lip to silence anymore words and Sirius moves again. You glance about cautiously, assuring you both hadn’t drawn any unwanted attention.

“I must say, I’m fairly proud. I managed to make you fall for me twice.”

“What?”

He swiftly swipes the letter from your hand and you gasp eagerly moving forward to reclaim it. But he holds it out of your reach as he unfolds it to peer at his own writing. Your heart races as his eyes widen at what he finds.

‘Forever yours, your Secret Admirer ’ encased in a red heart.

Your face flushes at an abnormal rate and when his awe forces him to lower his hand, you quickly snatch the letter up, holding it tightly to your chest.

“You pompous jerk—!”

Sirius silences your protests by tugging you close, occupying your attention with the warm feel of lips upon yours. His hand doesn’t hesitate to move to your waist, lessening the physical distance. You’re tense beneath his touch, but your mind quickly decides to plummet to its imminent demise in the sea of insanity. You slide both hands up to his shoulder, locking them behind his neck as you kiss him with great fervor. It’s Sirius who draws back first, peering down at you with those ridiculously gorgeous eyes of his, a gentleness illuminating within them beneath the glow of the moonlight.

“Did you wait until the Yule Ball so that you could be a classy showoff?” you mutter, unable to look away.

Sirius shakes his head, hair swaying at the movement, “No, I waited until Christmas because I knew you’d be the best gift of all."

Despite the blush rushing about your cheeks you don’t look away, smiling before laughing softly, “Smooth. Cliché, but smooth.”

Sirius grins and proffers you a wink, “Don’t I know it.”

You roll your eyes with a smirk before tugging him down by the collar of his shirt.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Sirius chuckles still grinning like the loon you know him to be.

“With great pleasure.”